Thursday, April 29, 2010

Middle of a Show

[Note: This is from the next night, fellows.]

[This segment began with Ghost (Beneath the Surface), by Machinae Supremacy]

Kagy: Thank you Machinae. The only band to make Comadore 64s sexy-cool. The little chronometer here in my fingers tells me we're half way through the show, this Thursday morning, so let's change the question and ask what everyone's dodging. Does the new administration make you want to cry black tears? Mr. Twelve, what do you think?

Caller 12: Hello. Is this Kagy?

Kagy: This is she. What do you think of Obama, Twelve?

Caller 12: Oh my God, I got in? I mean, I'm on the radio, right?

Kagy: You are.

Caller 12: Wow! I mean, I didn't think I'd get in! I mean, Wow. Can...You know, do you think the rest of my family can hear me?

Kagy: Not unless they suffer from insomnia. It's two in the morning, Twelve.

Caller 12: Yeah, but you don't understand. I never win at Anything.

Kagy: Win?

Caller 12: Yeah. I mean, I win something, yeah? I mean, I'm just happy I got on the radio.

Kagy: Ri-i-ight. Well, Twelve, anything you want my tens-of-listeners to hear, as long as you're on?

Caller 12: Uh...Uh...Uh...[click]

Kagy: You have nothing to fear but stage fright, Tweleve. Thirteen, what do you think of Obama?

Caller 13: Yar!

Kagy: Oh. Are you a pirate?

Caller 13: YAR!

Kagy: I see. And what do you think of Ninjas?

Caller 13: YAAAARR!

Kagy: Uhm...Hmmm...Tell me, Pirate. What be your favorite letter?

Caller 13: Er...ARRREEE!

Kagy: And what's the thing you drive around in?

Caller 13: CAAARRRRR!

Kagy: Twinkle Twinkle little...

Caller 13: STAAAARRRRRR! [click]

Kagy: That's all I can take of that. Alright, Fourteen. Obama. What's the scene?

Caller 14: More like, YOU'RE Obama.

Kagy: Excuse me?

Caller 14: You're Momma's Obama.

Kagy: What are you, ten?

Caller 14: Don't make me Obama you!

Kagy: ...What?

Caller 14: I got your Obama right HERE!

Kagy: Do you have a point, Fourteen?

Caller 14: Um...These aren't the Obamas you're looking for. [click]

Kagy: Ugh. Fifteen. I'm too tired to rhyme. What do you got?

Caller 15: Omagod, Omagod. Kagy, do you have your laptop near you?

Kagy: Hello, Darren, my Malkavian friend. No, I don't bring it to work.

Darren: Giraffes fighting! And I mean they're really REALLY tearing into each other! It's on Digg right now! You gotta see this. It's incredible!

Kagy: Giraffes fighting. How do Giraffes fight, Darren?

Darren: It's head-butt city, Kagy. And I mean, they whacking the hell out'a each other. I figured they'de be kicking, but no. They're planted on the ground with their legs spread to keep from being toppled over and they pushing one another and using their necks to smack the hell out'ta each other. It's crazy. You gotta see this. You gotta see this now.

Kagy: Wow, Darren. That's...huh. Anything else before you go?

Darren: Oh...uh...Also, rabbits can regrow their own naughty parts. [click]

Kagy: Informative. Fifteen, can YOU stay on topic?

Caller 15: No. [click]

Kagy: At least your were honest. Caller sixteen, any last words?

Caller 16: Wow! I made it on again?! I...I cant believe this! I won! I won! [click]

Kagy: There isn't enough alcohol in the world tonight, folks. Ponder on that while I cut to commercial.

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