Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Who is Your Favorite Dracula?

[Segments starts with Sick and Beautiful, by the Artificial Joy Club]

Kagy: Thirty-Nine calls! We're booking it tonight, Springhill. Caller, you are number Forty! Now, who played your favorite Dracula?

Caller 40: Oh my God! Did I win?

Kagy: No, Forty, you're just number Forty tonight. Who played your fav-

Caller 40: What did I win?!

Kagy: Listen, sister. There is no prize! You get nothing!

Caller 40: Great! How much is it worth?

Kagy: I...uh...[click] Forty-One, who is your favorite Dracula Actor?

Caller 41: Christopher Lee. [Click]

Kagy: Ooo, nice choice. Back when he was hot. Forty-Two, what about you?

Caller 42: [much talking in the background] Hey, Kagy.

Kagy: Er...Is this Tom?

Tom: Yeah, Babe. I'm out here at the Mave and we all decided that Lugosi was the best by popular vote.

Kagy: The popular vote, of course. Who were second choices?

Tom: Lee, of course, but also Gary Oldman, Richard Roxburgh, and, I can't believe I'm saying this, William Marshall.

Kagy: William who?

Tom: [long pause] He was Blackula.

Kagy: I...uh... [click] What caller am I on? Oh yes. Forty-Three, what of thee? Who's your favorite Dracula?

Caller 43: [whispering] Shhh...I'm hiding.

Kagy: Oh good, a stalker.

Caller 43: I just found this get together of the Springhill Knights, a collection of farm boys and high school kids who dish out their own brand of vigilante justice.

Kagy: Oh...I know about the Knights. You should probably just walk up and say 'Hi.' They don't like suspicious stalkers.

Caller 43: They have a bonfire just at the edge of town. I heard them on my CB radio.

Kagy: Yes, they still use those even after the invention of the cell phones. Tell me, do you see a man near the fire in a red cowboy hat and leather jacket?

Caller 43: Uh...let me see....yeah...yeah he's next to a truck right in front of me. I can just make out the license's...[click]

Kagy: One moment, Springhill. [dialing noise followed by ringing]

Voice: Hello?

Kagy: Kicker? Turn on your headlights.

Voice: Kagy?

Kagy: Headlights.

Voice: Alright alright. There, they're on.

Background Voices: Hey, who's that? What the? GET HIM! [click]

Kagy: [laughs] Oh, sometimes this is too easy. Forty-Four, what's up?

Caller 44: The dude from Monster Squad! He was the most awesome Dracula of all.

Kagy: Monster Squaud... Let's see, that was...Duncan Regehr. Also, one of my favorite movies as a child.

Caller 44: Yay! [click]

Kagy: Alright, let's finish this at a nice round forty-five. Caller, who is your favorite Dracula.

Caller 45: Hello, Kathryn.

Kagy: Hey, everyone! It's Vlad! Vlad, Springhill is curious. Who is Springhill's-only-vampire's choice for best Dracula.

Vlad: Does Max Schreck count?

Kagy: I...uh... [click] And I'm calling it a morning, faithful listeners. As always I'll be on tomorrow morning at One, and you can meet me at the Cerulean Theatre for Mina's Movie Club. This week, we're watching Blood: the Last Vampire; anime version. In the Red is a production of K.N.O.T. College Radio and is produced, roughly, by David Orger. Thanks go to our station director, Tom Wits and to everyone who called in. Even you. I'd like to thank anyone listening to this or any small time radio. Have a good sleep with pleasant nightmares. And Vlad, yes, Max Schreck counts...I think.

[End with My Favorite Things, by Rodgers and Hammerstein, performed by Pomplamoose]

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