Sunday, May 16, 2010

The Episode Without Light: Conclusion

[sounds of rains and lots of squirming]

Kagy: I'm currently in a minivan filled with men. Be still my bleeding heart.

Darren: You mean 'beating' heart.

David: Okay, it's working.

Kagy: Welcome back,Sprinhill, if you can hear this.

Darren: I thought I called Shotgun?

Kagy: Queen's prerogative, Malkavian Darren. Dr. Nick, any comment?

Tom: Ew.

Nick: I swear it's not my fault.

Vlad: I heard a boom somewhere?

David: I think those were fire-crackers.

Kagy: Heh. [whisper] Kaboom. [slash whisper] They're enjoying the lightless sky, too.

Vlad: Tell us, Kathryn; How did you know?

Nick: Reveal your secrets!

Kagy: It's...a long story.

Nick: The city's got some time.

Darren: Assuming it hasn't burned to the ground, yet.

Nick: Heh, and everyone has eaten themselves ALIVE!

Vlad: Not one another, but auto-cannibalism.

Kagy: [bursts out laughing]

Tom: So? What happened?

Kagy: Ha Ha Ha. Okay Okay. You remember those semi-lewd phone calls I've been getting about a week back? There was a man named Abraham Doddle who ran the Springhill Power plant on campus. Every other night he would call in and talk about having sex with me. I wanted to put a stop to him, to I went and did something about it.

Tom: Like what?

Kagy: I had sex with him.

[Sounds of everyone's exclamation, some of them four-letter-words you can't say on radio]

Nick: Oh man! So he DID bend you over the power console?!!

David: What? Did you guys fuck up the system?

Kagy: Some of it.

Tom: [laughing his idiot head off] I should be jealous, but I'm too amazed.

Kagy: There was more to it. It was after the show the last time he called. I got to the power station and the nice man up front let me through.

Vlad: Why would he do that?

Kagy: I'm Kagy, remember? So I met Abraham and we...uh...

Darren: Humped like rabbits?

Kick: Got Bis-ay!

Tom: Made a beast with two backs.

Kagy: Well, after all that, he went on about how bored and unhappy he was with his job. He told me his plan. He was going to shut off the power during the next New Moon. He wanted to 'Shut all the Lights Off.'

Nick: I'm pretty sure that's illegal.

Darren: And how.

Vlad: And now you are an accessory, Kathryn.

Kagy: Hardly. You don't think I told the police? I called them after the next show. It occurred to me that there would be a lot of damage so I What's that word? Guilty.

Tom: Me?

Vlad: Shut up.

Kagy: I called the police. I told them exactly what was going to happen and when. They claimed I was trying to create sensation about the radio show. I called them again, this time recording my conversation. My lawyer said to 'get proof.'

Nick: No one listened to you?

Kagy: It's ironic, isn't it? No one listening to a radio hostess. I had to admit, I did like the idea. A lightless sky. So I warned Springhill as best I could. Typically, no one listened. Now we're out in the woods with it raining geese and ganders outside.

Darren: You mean cats and Dogs?

Tom: Avoid cliché, Darren. So, Babe. I know you you could of stopped this.

Vlad: No.

Tom: Yes she could. She's got major influince in Springhill, Mr...

Vlad: Vlad. No, tt's not in her nature.

Kagy: I'm right here, boys. But...yeah, Vlad's right. I really wanted to see a lightless sky.

David: What now? It's nearly three, Kagy.

Kagy: It's all those breaks we took. I wonder how much of this will get to Springhill?

Vlad: My own cabin is around here...I think.

Darren: You have your own Cabin?

Vlad: Of course. You don't think I lived for hundreds of years without a cabin, did you?

Darren: I thought that vampire thing was a joke!

Kagy: It is.

Nick: We hope.

Tom: Anyone remember the lack of power thing going on in town?

Vlad: I have my own generator.

Kagy: And a minivan.

David: Go ahead and wrap it up, Kagy.

Kagy: Er...Springhill. I do hope you're all okay. I love this crazy little town of ours. Hold tight. Power should be back on once they realize I was right. Um...Normal wrap up stuff, David?

David: Quickly, we're out of time

Kagy: Alright. Mina's Movie Club at the Cerulean Theatre, if it's still there. We're a production of K.N.O.T. College radio. My Producer is David Orger, this was my coven, Malkavian Darren, Dr. Nick, the Vlad-inator, Tom, my ex-husband, and I was your host, Kathryn Guilty. Thanks and apologies to the station director, Tom Wits, and everyone who can hear the sound of my voice. Keep listening for emergency information and to small time radio like us. Sweet Nightmares.

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